Weathering Storms Together
My wife and I leave tomorrow for a week in Germany. It’ll be a part work, part play sort of trip. The work part is to speak at HP-Cast and to exhibit at the International Supercomputing Conference (ISC 2013).
Through the ups and downs of starting a business, my wife has been there all along the way. Her presence has made weathering storms so much easier. I have a few thoughts to share about that.
First, it is not that I have laid out all my business problems with her and worked through business issues on our kitchen table. That’s not her role. It’s that our life together and with our children provides a constant in life that does not ebb and flow with the tides of startup challenges. Coming home on a good day is the same as coming home on a bad day. That even keel provides a steadiness that weathers storms.
Second, many subscribe to the belief that you have to make “something” of yourself before getting married and raising a family. We didn’t go that route, so I don’t have much to say about it. But I can say that there are big benefits to getting married earlier and building that “something” together. Those benefits include growing into a similar risk tolerance together, learning to live lean together, and pinning more pride on family than on startup outcome. These benefits lead to reduced fear of failure and reduced perceived severity of failure.
I’m ignoring the case where failure means that people will go hungry. That’s overly dramatic. Most entrepreneurs are highly skilled and can easily find jobs in the normal job market to feed their family if it truly came to that.
These are my experiences. I’m lucky to have a steady and supportive spouse throughout the startup journey.
For more thoughts on surviving and thriving in a marriage with an entrepreneur, Brad Feld has a popular book, “Startup Life.”
What are your thoughts on weathering startup storms with a spouse?